Cheap calls, expensive talk

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You'll know it when you enter a computer shop and the customers around you are (Filipinos) Pinoy expats. There's no way you will miss it. Unless the entire Philippine archipelago is deprived of Internet connection.


Some of them frequently make use of instant messaging with video and talk functions, and they go about it with abandon. I know it because I'm Pinoy and having lived and worked outside my country for about four years now, I've done the same to keep in touch with my family back home.


But let's just say I'm a bit shy when talking to my wife and whispering sweet nothings at one million decibels too loud in a public place such as a cybercafe. Others couldn't care less.


They can shout at the top of their lungs just to make sure Son or Daughter gets to hear their words of wisdom delivered through cyberspace. It can really be annoying, particularly to other nationalities, but forgive them for they surely have reasons to be inconsiderate inside a computer shop.


It drives me nuts as well, but I know better than call their attention or hush them up. Most of the time, I amuse myself by connecting tidbits of information about the noisy Pinoy expat and get the bigger picture of my fellow countryman's lifestory. At other times, it doesn't work, so I leave the shop but not before collecting pieces of the puzzle that is the offender's life circumstances that I can tell friends over coffee.


Now, pretend you're having coffee with me...


Female Pinoy expat:


"E bakit kasi hindi ka agad humanap ng uupa dun sa isang bahay. Maghanap ka. Yong isang libo sayo, tapos yong tira ilagay mo lang sa bangko... E yong townhouse, ano na nangyari? ... (Rought translation: Well, I don't see why you didn't look for somebody to rent the house. Look for a tenant. One thousand pesos goes to you and the rest you deposit in the bank... How about the townhouse? ...)

"Ay! Andyan si Deeesiree? ... Ha? Kausapin ko nga... Hoy Desiree! Ano, punta ka na raw Australia? Oy, e pano, magaling ka na mag-Engliss? ... Oy, pupunta ako Australia, magbakasyon. Dito na lang ako apply ng visa sa embasi dito, mas madali e... Oo ... basta magbakasyon ako dun ke Ate Leleng ... (Is Deeesiree there? ... What? Let me talk to her ... Hey, Desiree! So, I heard you're set to go to Australia? So, is your Englisss good? ... I'm going there as well, for a vacation. I'll apply for a visa at the embassy here, heard it's easier here ... Yeah ... Spending my holiday at Ate Leleng's ...)"

(Kibitzer's silent bubble: O sya, mayaman ka na, lam na natin lahat dito. Nakapagtataka lang kumbakit ayaw mo bumili na lang ng phone card para sa overseas calls mo.)

Male Pinoy expat (he tries to whisper but I can still hear him from five cubicles away):

"Sweet'art naman, nag-iipon nga ako para pag finish contract nako, may pera tayo pang-negosyo... O, ayaw mo ba talaga maniwala sakin? ... Oo magne-negosyo tayo ... Ha? ... E, di sabihin mo na lang ke Kuya makitira muna kayo sa kanila... Ha? (C'mon, sweetie, I'm saving up for a business venture we'll have after my contract here ends... You really don't believe me? ... Yeah, we'll be in business ... What? ... Why don't you just live in Kuya's house for a bit ... Huh?)

"E, lam mo namang lab talaga kita e... E, lab mo ba talaga ako?... 'Tart, tart, wag ka ganyan ... Hindi totoo yon... Hindi... Kaibigan yon ng katrabaho ko, magpi-finish contract na kaya nalabas kami ... Hindi. Tart, tart, tart, makinig ka... (You know I truly love you ... Do you really love me? ... Don't be , sweetie, don't be ... That's not true .... No ... She's a co-worker's friend, her work contract's ending so we gave her a farewell party... No. Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, listen up ... )

(Kibitzer's silent bubble: Kasi naman, kapatid, pag tinawagan ka ng misis mo, siguraduhin mong wala syang maririnig na boses ng babae sa paligid mo habang nagke-kwentuhan kayo. At magpadala ka ng sustento sa tamang oras, wag mo itaya pera mo sa sugal. Kasi naman.)

One day, I will record these not-so-discreet conversations at the cybercafe and upload them here. What you think?



::: THE PICTURE: Those are the wife's feet. Lovely, isn't it? Well, forgive me, I adore the wife's feet and I'd rather caress her feet all day than endure OFW loudspeaker conversations in a cybercafe. :)


::: First time to visit this blog? I know this blog entry is a bit too inane for you. If you want annoyingly serious stuff on this site, visit my library for a list of articles.